British Airways to rename Fast Bag Drop

February 26, 2008

BA spokesman Adam Pocket yesterday confirmed the rumours of a change of name for Fast Bag Drop, the facility for passengers to check in their hold luggage on arrival at the airport having checked themselves in on-line at home.

From next week, the service will be known by the shorter name of Bag Drop.

As Adam explained: “We’ve kept the main operative parts of the name. We had to do that to avoid confusing passengers. But we had our branding review committee consider whether the name might contain any superfluous or potentially misleading adjectives and they identified the word “fast” as falling into that category”.

“Let’s be honest here”, added Adam, whose middle named we understand is Innes, “there is no time to be saved checking in at home before setting off for the airport if you have luggage to go in the hold. It’s no quicker than the old-fashioned check-in. Passengers now have to produce six different kinds of identification before we’ll take a bag off them. Some fat idiot will have forgotten and the bag drop line will be stuck for ages. We never have enough desks open because the staff are always nipping round the back for a quick fag.”

“The review committee did think long and hard, though. It was suggested that ‘Fast Bag Drop’ is fair enough because we do drop the bags as fast as we can, usually from a height. Another argument for keeping “fast” is that early morning travellers are likely to lose so much time in the drop off line they’ll be too late to go to the Executive Lounge for breakfast, and the baguettes on the plane are so greasy that nobody in their right mind eats them. But both those views were rejected”.

“So we dropped ‘fast’ fast, but haven’t dropped ‘drop’ and we had to hold on to ‘bag’ because the bag’s what goes in the hold. See?”

This post is intended as a humorous, playful response by the author to a one-off suboptimal experience. Everyone loves BA really.

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